Jacob...

It was a cool November day two days before Thanksgiving in fact. At a little past 11:00 am one of Heavenly Father's very special spirits entered the world. At first everything looked great 10 toes, 10 fingers, but for some reason a mom and dad looking at their new son thinking there is something quite not right with him. Fast forward to two years of no sleep maybe 3 hours at a time once every two weeks or so, taking turns being up with him all night. Rocking him, holding him, tyring to sooth him. Then came the fact he didn't walk until he was two years old he didn't talk until well we are still working on his speech. But through all of this a beautiful little boy all full of smiles all the time named Jacob Rushton enter my life. Always willing to give the best loves in the world, and until two weeks ago a mom not really realizing the special spirit that he is. I have always prayed for Jacob, he was and still is always sick, I prayed for his health, for his understanding, but most of all I prayed for me his mom. I know every mom, well almost every mom who is in their right mind prays for their children. My prayers about Jacob were always a little more than what I prayed for with my other children. I pray a lot that I will know when Jake hurts, when Jake needs help understanding. I pray I will have strength to understand him what is best for him. Two weeks ago I really woke up and felt the spirit and really realized that I have been in trusted with one of Heavenly Fathers special spirits. It is upon mine and Lynn's shoulders to help keep him safe and feel loved. I also realized that this special boy will never have the opportunity to live on his own. Or to feel the freedoms of his other siblings. He will have his challenges, his wants and not understanding them and how it will be up to us his parents to love him and help him understand to his capability. I know I am not the first mom to have been blessed with a special spirit to look out for, I know I will not be the last. But for me it is a blessing and a trail that the Lord in trusted me with. I did not realize this but I read my patriarchal blessing and for the first time I realize i was blessed with the love and strength I would need to handle my most important assignment as a mom my Jacob. So now when the days come that are full of heartache and tears I have a better knowledge and I feel a little more peace knowing the Lord loves me and is aware of me enough to know that I can handle this trail. He trusted me enough to send one of his most special spirits to my home for love and care while he is here on earth. I now know how hard I will need to work to be worthy to live with Jake in the eternities and see Jake's special spirit be whole once again...